Without You
by Ween-E
Summary: ConnorxMurphy. TWINCEST! Teen angst. If you don't like it, please don't read it.   The MacManus brothers are Seniors in High School. Will they let a girl break their brotherly bond? Rated M for scenes later on in the story.


**A/N: Hey everyone! It's me again. (BACK FROM THE DEAD!) Muahaha! I am so sorry for my long absence. I've been super busy with life and stuff. If you've subscribed to me for my Camp Rock fanfic "The Last Piece of Pumpkin Pie," I am sorry to say that I will no longer be continuing that fic. Maybe in the sometime future when I am super bored and I have nothing else to do, I will continue it. But for now, I will only be submitting Boondock Saints fanfictions. And now I present you "Without You." **

**I started it this morning because I was in a fanfic mood. I didn't have a storyline set for it so I made it up as it went along. So if things don't make any sense, I apologise. OTL""**

**I'm not sure if I should add chapters to it (because it looks like a oneshot.) Let me know what you think ;) **

**Pairings: ConnorxMurphy**

**Rated: R**

Without You

"Connor," The brunette made his way down the stairs one step at a time, eyeing a tall, handsome boy with a very strong facial resemblance to him.

The blond boy was sitting at the end of the dining room/kitchen table, a mouth full of cereal, strong hands clasping a cellphone. He seemed to be too concentrated with his phone to take notice to the brunette. His mouth chewed slowly, clearly not in a rush to digest the cornflakes that was encased in a ceramic bowl in front of him.

"Connor," The brunette said again, giving more force into his tone. He took his seat to the left of the blond and looked at him with a hardened stare.

Connor's eyes finally left the screen of the phone and lazily looked up to face the matching blues of the brunette. Immediately they widened and crinkled as a smile appeared on his lips. "Oh, hey Murph. Didn't see ya there. How long have you been sittin' down?"

"I've been callin' yer name for about five minutes now," Murphy stated, eyes never leaving his twin's.

"That so? M'sorry." Connor ran his hands through his spiky locks and let out a tired sigh. "Jess is startin' up some bullshit drama again. And it's barely past seven thirty. Can ya believe that?"

_Yes_, Murphy thought but didn't say out loud. "I don't see why yer still with her. You guys have been like this for months now."

"We're just hittin' a rough patch in our relationship right now is all. Plus, 'ave you seen her knockers? They're huge!" He curved his hands slightly and pretended to hold his girlfriend's imaginary breasts to emphasize his point. "Anyways, what can I help ya with?"

Murphy's lips curled with contempt. He didn't like Jessica Winthrop one bit. Ever since Connor ate her out at Ryan Mason's party junior year, they've been almost inseparable. Everything that he and Connor used to do together, they had to drag her along. Movie night Fridays would always end up being cut short because the movie was "stupid," and "disgusting," and "didn't have enough vampires." The nights that they would go to Denny's to customize a dish of their own and pig out like animals were replaced by going to Panera Bread and ordering healthy salads. Every time he would ask his brother to jump into the lake like they did when they were kids on warm summer nights, he would always decline with the same apologetic smile and the same reason. It was because of her. Jessica proved to be a wrecking ball that was tearing down his relationship with his twin. But he loved his brother too much to ruin it for him. Clearly he was love struck with Jessica. Murphy had been asked numerous times of what he thought of her. All of those times he replied with, "If she makes you happy, then I guess she's alright."

Although Connor still treated him with the same unwavering affection he always had, Murphy was very close to the breaking point. He had always spent so much time with his brother that he never thought to make new friends. He figured that he didn't need them. All he needed was Connor. Now, he was getting fed up of their frequent fights. He was sick of comforting Connor whenever their fights reach to that intensity. He was sick of seeing his brother come home late at night, reeking of alcohol, and having to pose as a punching bag so Connor would feel better. Of course, Connor would never remember. Murphy was too kind to say that the bruises and the black eyes were from him. He made up well thought out excuses, just so his brother wouldn't feel worse than he already did.

"We need t'work on our History project. It counts as half of our final grade."

"Right! I forgot about that. Thanks for reminding me." He looked down at his bowl of cereal, which now turned to mush. His nose scrunched up as the sloppy mess and went to put it into the sink.

"D'you think you can come home early today? I've already got the analysis an' the paper done. I just need help getting' the poster together." The brunette tried to hide the eagerness and the neediness that was bubbling up inside him. Yeah, this project was a good enough excuse for Connor to leave Jessica alone for an hour or so.

As soon as he finished his sentence, Connor's phone began to ring. The blond held up a finger to Murphy and pressed the phone to his ear.

"Hey baby," he said with a cheerful tone, although his face said so otherwise. "Now? But-… Oh, really?"

Murphy sighed and rubbed his arms nervously. He checked the time. 7:45AM. Shit, he was going to be late. He got up from his chair and looked at Connor, hoping to get his attention.

Unfortunately, Connor's back was turned to him as he faced the window right above the sink. "I never did that, Jess. You know how your friends love to make up rumours about me." His hand clamped down on the counter, pressing hard. Jess was starting something again and judging from their past breakfast fights, it was going to be while.

"Connor, don't forget to come home early today. Please, I really need you-…" Murphy realized what he said and quickly added, "-N-need your help."

Connor turned around and gave his brother a reassuring smile and stuck his thumb up. 'I promise,' he mouthed and turned around again.

Somehow satisfied with his brother's response, Murphy ran upstairs and grabbed his backpack and bolted out of the door, hoping to catch the school bus.

Murphy sat on the living room floor surrounded by different coloured construction paper and various art supplies. His eyes kept glancing at the black clock hanging on top of the couch. It was already 9:13 P.M. Where was Connor?

A picture of Jesus Christ that he had drawn earlier stared back at him. He had been working on the poster for five hours, putting as much hard work and effort into it as possible. He had been taking out his pent up frustration at Connor by letting the project consume his time. The twins had chosen to do their project on religion because of their strong interest in Catholicism. Already possessing enough background information on the topic, they had hoped to have as much fun with it as they chose it at the beginning of the semester. Murphy hoped that Connor would contribute a drawing or maybe even a thought or two that night. But come 10 o'clock and he still wasn't home, he had given up and completed the project himself.

The poster was beautiful. One could tell all of the hard work Murphy put into that project. The blue construction paper seemed to pop out with intricate design done with markers and stencils. It was spattered with colour, but not too much to make it look overdone. The portrait of Jesus Christ looked as if it had been done by a Renaissance artist. Murphy looked at his finished creation and smiled.

He was surprised to feel hot streaks running down his cheeks. He felt his eyes burn and it was only then he realized that he was crying. He quickly dried his eyes, hoping no one would see, and grabbed the poster to set on the dining room table. It was then when the front door swung open and his ears were met by giggling and laughter.

The laughter quickly subsided and Murphy turned around to face the intruders, already knowing who he was going to see.

"Oh shit." He heard a familiar voice whisper. Connor looked stunned and remorseful as he saw his brother, hair sticking up in different places, eyes looking red and swollen from crying. "Murph…"

Murphy wasn't known to be a coldhearted person. But the look he gave Connor at that moment was enough to kill a man. It had been full of hatred; full of betrayal; full of hurt. That was the final straw. He gave Jessica a swift glance in acknowledgement, and headed to his bedroom.

"Murph! Murphy!"

He heard Connor calling after him, but he didn't stop walking. When he finally ascended to his room, he slammed the door shut and quickly jumped into his inviting bed. As soon as his head touched his pillow, he lost it.

Life had been great until that witch came into their lives. Ever since childhood, they were inseparable, always doing everything together- even going to the bathroom. They had done everything in their power to make sure that they had all of the same classes and did the same extracurricular activities. When one of them was sick, the other one stayed home and took care of their twin until they felt better. Murphy vaguely remembered his mother joking that they spend so much time together that they should get married. As soon as her words escaped her lips, the twins seized upon the idea and held a fake ceremony to entwine their fates together as one. That was thirteen years ago. Ma thought it was foolish and they were being kids at the time. To her surprise, they acted like any married couple would, down to shooting for a baby. As the years went by, they would talk about that event now and again and they would laugh. Even as they got older, their bond remained strong. That is, until now.

_How dare he, _Murphy thought bitterly, biting back the sobs that were threatening to escape his 's promises were like the Unbreakable Vow. Not once in his life has he ever broken a promise. Why would he break one now? _It's because of her. She's poison to him. She's sucking him dry like the leech she is. _

Murphy continued to reminisce about all of the fun times he's had with Connor until sleep wrapped its black cloak around him and he fell into a deep, dreamless slumber.

_RRRIIIINGGG_

Ice blue orbs emerged from the heavy lids as the sharp sound of the alarm clock pierced through his ears. He lifted up his arm and let it descend with a loud smack as he hit the Snooze button on the black device. His head hurt from all of the bitter tears that had fallen the night before. Thankfully, it had cleansed him and brought closure to his feelings for Connor.

He walked down the stairs, letting his feet drag behind him and crash on the platform, without a care for the loud sound it made. _Who gives a shit anyways? _

Like every other day, Connor sat in his usual seat at the head of the dining table, only instead of looking immersed in his phone, his eyes were set on Murphy.

Murphy felt his brother's eyes on him almost immediately. His defensive mechanism kicked in and he mentally removed his brother from his seat, completely ignoring him. He made his way into the kitchen cabinet and took out a box of cereal.

"Good morning to you too," he heard Connor say.

He poured the cereal into a bowl and mixed it with milk. He ignored Connor's remark, just as he had ignored everything else. He made his way into his seat on the dining table and ate hastily.

"Murph…"

Murphy looked down at the wooden table, observing the small circlets of the former tree trunk, counting each ring carefully.

"Please, don't ignore me."

He played with the floating pieces of cornflakes, using the tip of his spoon to drown them one by one. Something about this was calming.

"Murphy, please."

He felt Connor's hand on his arm and he immediately jerked it free from him. In that small amount of contact, Murphy felt electricity surge through his body; but only for a moment. All of his serenity was gone and he sent him a hateful stare, only not as intense as the night before.

"Don't fuckin' touch me."

Connor looked taken aback at his murderous tone. His drive to not let the subject drop took over and he quickly regained his composure. "Look, about last night-"

"-There's nothin' to fuckin talk about. Leave me alone." Murphy bit back, scooping his spoon into his cereal and chewing angrily.

"No. There is." Connor's voice was hard and unwavering. He wasn't going to step down. "I am so sorry about what happened , Murph. I-"

Murphy got up from his seat and went to the sink to wash his bowl, clearly ignoring Connor. But his twin wouldn't have any of it. He got up as well and walked beside Murphy.

"Will you please listen ta me? It's like m' talkin to a brick wall here."

"Why don' you just go to yer girlfren and cry about it to her, then? 'M sure she's willen ta listen." He dried off the bowl with a dishtowel and headed for the staircase when he was quickly pulled back by Connor's strong hands.

"Is this what this is all about, Murph? Jess?"

Murphy avoided his brother's concerned stare, fixing his gaze on the tiles of the kitchen floor.

"Do you not like her?" Connor asked, waiting patiently for an answer. When minutes flew and he didn't receive a response, his hand went to Murphy's chin and tilted it up so he would meet his gaze. "Please answer."

Murphy felt his heart beating a mile a minute, his head swimming at the close proximity of his brother. What is this feeling? "She's breakin' us up, Con."

"Breakin' who up?" Connor let his hand drop to his side, yet his other was still clinging onto Murphy.

"You an' me. We used to be so close. But then _she _came along and ruined it." He felt the tears threatening to pour from his eyes. His lip quivered and Connor saw it immediately.

"Oh, Murph, you know I would never let her do that-"

"-but you did, Connor! You did! Last night. I waited all day for you. You promised you would come home right away. I waited… I waited…" That was when he let the tears flow openly. His shoulders shook and he used his left hand to wipe as his face. They were restricted by Connor's arms as he snaked them around Murphy's body and pulled him into a hug.

"Shh, it's okay, Murph. " The blonde's fingers ran through Murphy's hair softly, eliciting a moan from the younger sibling. "I'm so sorry you waited. I should have called."

"Connor," Murphy mumbled, letting his hands hold on tightly to his brother's black shirt. "Don't leave me again. I can't take it."

Connor looked down at his brother and felt something stir from inside of him. Having just gotten out of bed, Murphy had messy hair and a red rim around his eyes. He looked so pitiful, so adorable. He let his thumb caress his cheek soothingly, making sure to wipe away the fallen tears. "I swear to you, I will never leave your side again." Without warning, he moved his head down to his brother, their lips meeting evenly.

Murphy couldn't believe what Connor was doing. He felt lightheaded, yet his brother's actions didn't seem taboo at all. He pressed his lips against Connor's, opening it as he felt his brother's tongue flick from his mouth. He tilted his head and deepened the kiss, lashing out his tongue to fight for dominance. All of his sorrows seemed to melt into the kiss as he let out a sigh. He was only able to catch his breath for a few seconds until Connor attacked him again, only this time, he was rougher.

The younger sibling wrapped his arms around Connor's neck and grabbed at his blonde hair. He let out a gasp as Connor's hips involuntarily dug into his. "Oh, Connor…" He felt himself being lifted by the blond, but was too immersed into the kiss to question where they were going. He got his answer a few seconds later as he landed on his brother's bed.

Connor took no time sliding his shirt off as he straddled Murphy's hips. He helped his brother slip out of his shirt before moving onto his jeans. "'ve wanted to do this to you fer years," he muttered as he finally got Murphy's pants off. He saw a glimmer of uncertainty flash in the blue pools of his brother. He smiled and gave him a reassuring kiss. "Don't worry, 'm not gonna hurt you. We don't have to go through with this."

Murphy could tell that his brother only half meant it, as he saw his twin's hard-on pressing up against his jeans. He swallowed and rubbed at the spot gingerly. He looked as his brother as he let out a sharp hiss.

"Your friend begs to differ," Murphy mused as he unbuttoned his pants. "I want to do this, Connor. Please."

That was all the confirmation Connor needed. In a flash, he took off his pants and boxers and pressed himself on Murphy. He licked at his twin's neck, making a painstakingly slow process up to his ear, roaming the shell before making his way down to his brother's chest. He made sure to stop at a nipple, swirling his tongue around the sensitive bud, waiting for a moan from his brother before moving onto the second one.

Murphy let out a raspy moan, grabbing at Connor's head and guiding it down to his throbbing cock. "Please, Con. Please, suck me."

Connor gave him a mischievous grin. He grabbed both of Murphy's wrists with one hand and put it above his head. Murphy didn't try to fight back; he was too weak and filled with lust to protest. The blond licked a trail down to his cock and teased the sides of his thighs slowly.

"Fuckin' A. PLEASE!" Murphy thrust his hips up in desperation, his erection leaking with precum. Connor observed at how hot his younger brother looked when he begged to be taken by him. In order to comply to his wishes, Connor licked underneath Murphy's cock, making sure to swirl his tongue around his balls, before taking Murphy's length whole.

"Ah…" Murphy closed his eyes shut, a burst of pleasure filling his entire body as his cock was enveloped by Connor's hot cavern. He felt his brother's tongue tease the tip of his penis as he bobbed his head up and down. "It feels so good, Connor."

Connor bobbed his head along with Murphy's thrusts and they developed a rhythm. When he felt his brother's muscles contracting, he pulled his mouth off and licked his lips hungrily.

Murphy looked at him crestfallen. "Why'd you stop?"

"Don't want ya t'finish yet." He held out his index and middle finger to his face. "Suck," he ordered.

The brunette stared at the fingers before flicking out a tongue and encircling them with his mouth. He watched his brother's face contort into pleasure as he sucked harder. "Alright, stop. Yer gonna set me off just by doin' that."

Connor pulled his fingers out of his brother's mouth and positioned them in front of Murphy's hole.

He nearly thrust his hips to the sky as he felt his twin's index enter his body slowly, followed by his middle. At first, he was uncomfortable, but then as soon as Connor began to scissor them around, he felt pain. "Ah! Connor…" He placed his hands on his brother's shoulders and dug his fingers into them, engraving half-moon crescents into his skin.

"Hold on, let me get some lube," Connor remarked, taking note of Murphy's pained reaction. He got up off the bed and headed into his side table drawer to fish out a lubricant. When he returned, he nearly dropped the tube at the sight in front of him.

Murphy had taken action into his own hands as he inserted his fingers into his hole and he used his other hand to pump his erection. He looked at Connor with a begging look as he panted out his name.

"Fuck, fuck, fuck!" Connor jumped on the bed and smothered Murphy with a passionate kiss. "How d'you expect me to hold out fer this long if yer gonna be doin somethin' as hot as that?"

"Connor, fuck me now," Murphy whimpered.

The older boy swallowed and poured some lubricant onto his hands before coating his dick with it and inserting his fingers into Murphy. He pulled his fingers in and out in a slow rhythm before Murphy cried out again, begging him to fuck him already.

Connor finally positioned his rock hard cock into Murphy's entrance and thrust in hard. Murphy arched his back as he hissed out in pain. The blond looked at his brother with uncertainty until he got the command to move.

He wasted no time taking things slow. He began to thrust fast and hard into Murphy, gritting his teeth at the sounds his twin was making. Murphy wrapped his legs around Connor so his twin would have a better access to his body. He grabbed at Connor's arms and dug in with his blunt fingers.

"C-connor. It feels so good. Fuck me harder," Murphy begged in between thrusts. He was panting heavily, eyes clouded with lust.

"Oh Christ, Murph…" Connor tilted his hips and rammed in hard and deep repeatedly. His cock hit Murphy's prostate and the younger twin was soon crying his out in pleasure. As he felt his brother tighten around him, the blond let out a curse. "Fuck. I'm so close…"

"N-no, don't stop. I'm close too. Harder, Con. Please…"

Connor imitated the angle he was in before and began to pick up his pace, gaining momentum and receiving screams and moans from his brother. His hand wrapped around Murphy's cock and began to pump along with his thrusts. He gave one final hard thrust and soon, both twins were toppling over the edge, a wave of pleasure crashing down upon them. Murphy's warm cum landed on his chest and spilled onto his hand. Connor pulled out of his brother and fell down next to him, panting heavily.

"That… that was…" Connor began, but was silenced by Murphy's lips on his.

Murphy cupped Connor's face into his hands and stroked his cheek lovingly. "… amazing," he finished.

"You alright?"

The brunette nodded. "I'll be sore for a little while, but I'll get over it. Not used to this kind of thing."

"Me neither. Truth be told, you're my first…"

"For everything?"

Connor nodded. "Jess wanted to wait until she was married or someshit. Closest thing we got to havin' sex was orally."

"Jess!" Murphy made to sit up, but Connor pulled him back down. "Relax, she and I are done."

"But last night…" Murphy looked at his twin's eyes, searching for an answer. Connor's eyes were heavy lidded, but still alert.

"When you left, she and I had a little talk. She badmouthed you, callin' you names. I wouldn't have anyone talkin' shit about me brother so I told her to fuck off. Truth be told, I never really liked that bitch." He began to play with Murphy's hair, curling it into his fingers.

"So why did you go out with her?" Murphy was torn between anger and curiosity.

"Figured she'd make a good distraction from my true feelings." When he didn't get a reply from his brother, he kept going, "I've always loved you, Murph. But not in the way a brother should. You don't know how much I held back from kissin ye all of those times. Ever since I turned 13, I knew that I had to have you. Damn hormones didn't make it any better. So when I ate Jess out 11th grade, I knew she'd keep my mind off these unholy thoughts. That's why I asked her out."

"All of this time…" Connor turned to face his brother and saw that he had an expression of relief and pure happiness. "You were in love with me, and I didn't know…"

Connor nodded. "When you gave me that look last night, I thought tha' me heart was going to break. I had no reason t'live if the person I loved the most hated me. So I took the leap of faith and went after you. Even if you didn't return my feelings, I'm satisfied that I've tried. Rather than being plagued by these thoughts of 'What ifs?'"

Murphy rolled on top of his brother and gave him a long, sweet kiss. When they pulled up for a breath of air, he kissed Connor's forehead, nose, and finally, a small peck on the lips. "I couldn't hate ye if I tried, Con. You know I can't live without you. I love you too much."

Connor smiled. "Though it was pretty cute of you to be jealous of Jess."

Murphy punched him lightly on the chest. "Shut yer mouth. If she only made ye sad and angry, of course I'd hate her."

"Nice of you to lie, though. Thanks for considerin' my feelings." He placed one hand on the small of Murphy's back and rubbed it lightly.

He buried his face into Connor's chest. "It's what brothers do."

**A/N: Gahh! What a super lame ending. I'm sorrryyy! Please review! **


End file.
